99th day.

99 days. The length since we officially fell apart. And now I'm here, writing this as some sort of outlet. Not to say, though, that I'm still holding on to the past, wanting it to be redone. Fact of the matter is, I'm here, 99 days later, standing tall without looking back to what happened that day, right?

To be completely honest, until now, it still strikes me as though it only happened yesterday. I would be lying if I said that I'm completely fine with where we are now and that I have completely gotten over you. Upon saying this, I expect a lot of people to get mad at me for still holding on to the past.

My friends keep telling me to let go, move on, she wasn't worth your time and effort. There are times where I can make myself believe in what they are saying, yet there's still this part of me that denies everything accused of you. How I am still siding with you on this particular argument is beyond me. After all the stuff you put me through, I should at least feel a bit mad at you.

But alas, I am finding myself still by your side, without the slightest feeling of hatred against the one who kind of led me to my own demise.

When I was with you, every other negative thoughts I had before were all taken away. You made me feel like I'm on the top of the world, that nothing could ever bring me down. Turns out, it would be you.

Yet after all these, things seemed to be back to what they were before this fiasco. We were still among the best of friends, talk and act like nothing happened. Or so it may seem. To everyone, and probably you, it seems as though I'm back to my old self. Nothing new, nothing to suspect. Completely and totally normal. But no, I'm still devastated over what happened, probably just keeping it all inside rather than having people troubling themselves over me, something that I've been repeatedly telling everyone over the years. But in reality, I may just need someone to fall back on, and for a while, it was you. And it still probably is, but now that it concerns you, I don't have that sense of familiarity anymore. Even to my friends, talking about you is still somewhat of a strike zone. If it was a completely different situation, I'd be going to you for this. But seeing that it is not, you are out of the options.

Then again, I may just need the closure. It's not really best to get it over vented out writing in these overused sites that supports blogs. Do I really need it? Maybe. I already figured that I could go on with life without the closure, but it took a reasonable amount of time. Will it really make much of a difference if I do? Who knows, I'm just sure that I don't.

On another note, tomorrow's the 100th day, which also happens to be our JS Prom. Does it mean anything special? Doubt it.

97th Day

A/N: YOU are probably reading this (by YOU, I mean someone in particular), but I don't really mind if YOU do manage to read this, just saying what's currently on my mind.

Huh, what do you know? I managed to get through 97 fucking days after what happened between us.

Oh and look at that, how convenient. The 100th day is on Feb 5. Effin great.

What transpired 97 days ago wasn't really the best moment of my life. Admittedly, I somewhat doubt it was any better for you. Sure it might have lifted some load off, but the transition wasn't really the best that it could've.

So for around 2 months after that, I was still pondering over what happened and why it happened. My friends all say this particular reason, yet you counter with your side of the story. This is where the conflicts begin. Who do I believe, my closest friends for 3 years and counting, or you, the only one whom I disclosed every possible detail about my life to, the one who was with me through thick and thin, even for just the past few months prior to the "event", the one who made me feel genuinely happy for the time being?

So for those 2 months, I stuck with my gut, denying my friends' claims about you, still hoping there was this chance to redeem what was lost, to reinstate what we used to have. I don't have the slightest clue what, but something snapped inside of me. There was this sudden realization that no matter what happened, it was only just that. Happened. No point in trying to piece it all back together. Whatever happened, happened. No turning back. No regrets.

They keep on saying that you weren't really the best for me, that I could've done better. And I could easily say that yes, they are probably right. I could've done better. I should have done better. You weren't the best for me. And I wasn't the best for you. There are plenty others who could replace you, although there's no denying the fact that there will always be a place for you in me.

There was always this nagging feeling that you could only be using me as a rebound. I keep on pushing the thought away, yet the possibility in my mind is so high that it can't just be pushed away.

Even after all this, I realized that you were only really meant to be my best friend. One of the only ones I could really call that without a shadow of a doubt.

A/N: Should've been posted two days ago.

All The Right Friends in All The Right Places

A/N: The title obviously does not belong to me, credits goes out to "All The Right Moves" by One Republic.

So apparently, today is my birthday. And as a tradition, I try to keep it as secret as possible to know who actually remembered.

First year, only one person did honestly remember. I wasn't expecting for anyone, but she pulled through. And until now, she still does. Even if I still point out how much you seem to not care about me, you're still one of the best friends I could ever ask for. Yes Ria, I'm talking about you >:D<.

Then came second year, and still, only a handful of people remembered. They easily became the awesome-est people I came across with. Even in our countless fail moments, we all just laughed it off and moved on. And until now, we are almost inseparable. Leif and Marlo, psst-psst-chck-chck-*slurp*-ahh xD.

And this year, I came across with more people who I consider the best circle of friends I ever had. We may not be the best group ever created, and with all our weird antics and numerous inside jokes that makes no sense at all, we may never be, but in my books, no one can ever top you guys. Maki, Thea, Jia, Justin, Quina, and the occasional Jeremil, you guys are just the best :D.

And finally, this goes out to one special person, to me anyways xD. The only person who knows me inside out, and may know me even better than myself at times. By far the only best friend I had to ever put that much effort into someone without asking for anything in return. Even only knowing her for around one and a half years, had proven herself to be one hell of a best friend. We may not always be there for each other at times, but I do know she got my back whenever I need it. Thanks for everything (and the gift, which I will use one way or another ;)) Angelei :).

Now I realize that even though at times, I may feel alone, in the long run, I will never be. For I have the best people whom I could ask for with me. (Maybe a bit cliché, but why not xD) And together, we are unstoppable. :)