Huh.

There comes a time in a person's life where he/she suddenly wants to feel sad.

Or maybe that's just my masochistic tendencies speaking.

After all these years, I still find things very curious. Mostly beginning with the question, What would've happened if you weren't there that night?

If you weren't there, then I'd probably have done the unthinkable. Although it occurs to me, will people actually care? Will they even notice I'm gone? Will it actually affect them in any way? Well maybe, there'll be one less competition, but that'd be it.

Looking back, there hadn't been much who personally know the story of my past. Most of them know me as the "guy who's always happy". Which makes me think, if those people would be the one who'd do my eulogy, then I'll forever be another case of "it's always the happiest ones". Then after a month or two, those same people will most likely have forgotten about me. And the cycle continues.

Although I am thankful, I have someone by my side to listen to me. It is curious, though, to ask, of the seven billion people in the world, how many are thinking the same as me at this very moment? Yet even more so, how many have people listening so that they wouldn't do the unthinkable? But just maybe, the more relevant question is who won't have anyone listening? Who would be pushed over the edge, only to ultimately be forgotten by everyone around him/her?

I don't know why, but I like fathoming over these things. It gives me this sort of pain inside that I somehow enjoy. I'm weird, I think we've already established that. Maybe I really do have some masochistic tendencies.

Or maybe that's just the hydrated alkene speaking.