Delta-Life Moments - Tragic Royalty

It was the final day of the final periodic exams back in second year. For some reason, no one was asking people to go out for class reunions, or simple gatherings or whatnot. So me and Lei, our resident Chinese guy, decided to go out, to the conveniently located mall near the school, TriNoMa.

Leif, being the guy that he is, decided to break confidentiality between him and one of our mutual friends. And it went a little something like this.

<convo st="translated, non-verbatim">

Leif
Me
Did you know? I think Angelei likes you
Really? Nah, you wishNo, seriously. Look at this text she sent me last night.

Leif, would it be okay to like your ex's close friend?

It couldn't have been Marlo, she said she was scared of him. Nor could it be me, why would she be telling me this then? And I doubt it's any of his Sapphire friends, she's not close to any of them. And that leaves you.
You're just messing with me. Come on, let's just go to Trinoma.

</convo>

It was also in second year that my fascination with collecting card decks started. And I got it from Leif. So being the end of the school year, we decided to burn some money, well, me. I got myself a Bicycle Guardian and a Bicycle Tragic Royalty deck. <look them both up if you must>.

For some reason,that conversation before we got to the mall stuck with me. And I kept bugging Leif about it. So we went to the food court and he gave his ultimatum. We were playing randomly with the decks, particularly the Tragic Royalty. We decided to make use of the deck as a fortune telling one, or at least something close to it. We ask a question, and if the next card flipped was of the suit or number that was predetermined, then the answer was a yes. Otherwise, it would be no. Seemed fair, right?

It was working quite randomly on the first few trials we asked, making wrong assumptions as it was supposed to. But when we got to asking questions regarding the thing we talked about, it seemed consistent to what he was saying. And we repeated it. Over and over again. With the same results.

Eventually we got tired and had to go home. Before parting ways, we had another short conversation about it.

<convo st="translated, non-verbatim">

Wait, are you sure that she really does like me?Yes. I'm seriously sure.
Fine. Well, in that case, yay!Huh? Why are you celebrating?
Cause, she likes me.You've got to be kidding me, right?
Maybe.

</convo>

Then I left, leaving him there confused and alone. Well, not really. I'm pretty sure he caught on. And that's how mostly everything started. And I'm sure glad it did.

---

Epilogue

Well, almost three years after that incident, I've lost contact with that deck. I've given it to my close friend for his birthday a few months back. And I hope he's been putting it to good use, or at least, he will.

Delta-Life Moments - I Shouldn't Be Here

<Sorry about not updating as I promised. And yeah, I got lazy D:. Anyway, here's a 10 part series of the 10 things that have changed my life thus far. They will most likely not be in chronological order, nor will they probably make much sense to everyone. So yeah. Oh, and I'll probably be finishing this series cause of people bugging me to do so xD>

If you do not know yet, I had my share of suicidal tendencies almost 3 years ago. Maybe I was stupid, maybe I was really just going through a bad time, but the most important part is that I am still here.

It was Christmas Eve, 2009, and my family went home to the province to celebrate Christmas with my grandma's side of the family. Right after dinner, I went to sit down on my favorite sofa. It was a cushioned sofa for one, that extends to a desk on the left side. It was nearing midnight so as a tradition, I started to greet some of my closest friends, plus a few new acquaintances along the way. It was then that we started talking.

You noticed how I somewhat seemed a bit down with my greeting, you of all people. From there, I started to explain about how I'm constantly going through a bad time. And for some reason, you tried to comfort me. It might not have completely worked, but it helped nonetheless. That moment became the reason why we became close.

Admittedly, I started to like you a while back from then, I never said anything to you about it, or to anyone for that matter. For one, you were with my best friend during those times, and well, I don't really want to be a jerk. So I remained silent. And for a while, no one else knew but me.

A few days past, I was going through a bit of an episode. Bad thoughts rushing in, negative feelings started to grow, and well, my urges started to kick in. Good thing I was out with my dad and not inside my room where anything could happen. Last time I was left alone, my lighter and blade was put to good use. But ultimately, we had to go home. I had to go back to my room, and everybody had to sleep, well, maybe not be.

The moment I got into my room, I received a text message from you, asking me how I'm doing. Me, being me, tried to avert the situation by lying. But you being you apparently knows when I'm lying. So I had to explain myself eventually. After that, you went on with your barrage of texts telling me not to, telling me how stupid it is to be even considering doing so, telling me what will happen if I do so.

But that one line at the end made me reconsider. It, so to say, calmed me down, even for just that night, maybe enough to have kept me alive.

"Don't do it. Everyone will miss you. I will miss you."

Maybe I'm just shallow. Maybe even then, you matter a lot to me. But if it wasn't for that, I really shouldn't be here.

A New Beginning

Huzzah! I actually have the decency and the motivation to start to write again. I find that amazing. Also in time for Cheer Up Emo Kid's first update in months. Well, at least he had some reason. I don't. Woe is me from whoever's reading this.

Anyway, like I said, that was one sem of complete and total silence from me. If you must know, I am currently taking up BS Chemical Engineering in the University of the Philippines - Diliman. Hooray for me.

Why UPD? Cause people (or person) is there.
Why Chem Eng'g? Cause I like computers and electronics.
Why didn't that make any sense? Because potatoes.

And because I didn't update for a semester, hello catching up posts.

---

Part 1 - A New Beginning

Holy shit, that actually sounded cool.

I just so recently graduated high school, and with that, hello college.

Taking up Chemical Engineering, we, of course, have to take up Chemistry as subjects and majors. And being in Engineering, Math can't be avoided as well. We had those two during this semester. Add in a couple of elective subjects, BOOM. Hello schedule.

Legend (of Korra):
PE BW-T : Tenpin Bowling
Comm Eng 3 - Communications English 3
Bio(logy)
Chem(istry)
Philo(sophy)

It's not that shabby of a schedule. It's actually the dream sched for the incoming freshmen. And I apparently was one of the lucky ones who got it. And this will eventually bite me in the end (See: the end of this post).

My first class ever just so happened to be PE. Tenpin Bowling to be exact. Why this PE? Just cause. And just my luck, I was classmates with her. By her I mean my girlfriend. (Yeah, just said it. Got a problem with that, punk? You feeling lucky, ducky?) So whee for me. Anyway, our coach was all like,

"All of you sit in this damn bench, those not sitting down, you can kiss this class goodbye."

Well not really those exact words, but it was pretty close. So that was that.  We had to fix this index card mandatory thing, and with that, my Monday is over. Well not really, we got some cake after that at Chocolate Kiss (What's that? Only the best restaurants for cake in UP) and that started our, uhm, goal? To try every cake they have to offer before the sem ends. So yeah, I'm gonna get fat. But it was a fun day.


Next few days were actually kind of interesting. I got to meet new people, I got to keep n touch with some others. The class was actually pretty silent in the start. But not for long.

As I've said, I got to keep in touch with my other friends from high school, mostly because I'm in the same class/block as them. And it just so happens that the combination of me and my friends aren't exactly the most quiet ones. And apparently, the biggest guy in class (no, not muscular, not in height, but you know what I mean) was also part of the gang. With this, it just can't be helped that the Universal Law of Gravitation took into effect. You know, the whole F = (Gm1m2)/d^2 thing. The distances between us and the other people weren't that big and it just so happens there are other groups forming as well, and before you know it, the intrastructural forces of attraction is big enough to close that distance off. And soon enough, we were united as a block.

And with that, I close this chapter.

---

Oh yeah. One down. X more to go, haha. By X, I mean:

l = [Start_Of_Sem, New_Friends_,_Org_Blues, _Comm3_Sucks_Balls, The_Always_Cumpolsory_Love_Life_Update, End_Of_Sem, Sem_Break_So_Far]

X = len(l) - 1

Yey! Hopefully, I finish this before class starts again, or this will be collecting dust in the internet, aww.

And with that, I bid you all a bye-bye~

"What did O say to Q?"
"Wear some underwear, damn it"

Does it really have to be like this?

*Enter sentimental mode*

---FLASHBACK START---


-January 2010...


The rain's currently pouring hard, and in the middle of our YMSAT week too. There was nothing much to do, so we decided to go up to the Math unit. By we, I mean probably the best combination of people there is, or at least the most random of them. There's me, my best-friend-since-last-year, the Chinese guy who just got back from a bad case of dengue and affected his heart, our curly haired friend, our other awkward friend and his girlfriend (who hasn't really been part of the group much, just annexed cause of our dear friend, but eventually became part of the core group).

As we enter the unit, we see our Geometry teacher sitting in the lobby. We decide to sit with him and just hang out for a while. The rain is still pouring hard and since we have nothing much to do, we stay.

It was a stay full of corny jokes, but hey, what can you expect? Considering the ones in the conversation are this group of people, and our geometry teacher too. We also started to make Math renditions of some songs, like "It Will Be Proved" (From "She Will Be Loved) and more. But by any stroke of destiny or whatnot, most of the songs just happened to be by Maroon 5. Eventually, our teacher christened the group with the name, parodied from the great band from which our songs were derived from, Merong 5. Cause well, there were 5 guys in the core group + 1 annex (girlfriend) member. And a side joke is that one of our members will have a 5.0 in his grade in Math (which thankfully didn't happen.).

And so, Merong 5 was created.

-Around March 2010...


He broke up with her. Through text. Because he's afraid that he will just hurt her if the relationship continues. He was in tears. He was devastated. But he thought it was for the best.


My best friend messaged me up. He told me that he broke off the relationship. He explained how he feels like he's such a burden to her. He said that maybe this isn't right anymore, so he called it quits.

I have been kind of their wing man, to both of them, occasionally. So I have a rough sketch of what was going on. He came to me for a while for advice, for someone to talk to. For weeks, he's still devastated over the break up, but he wouldn't cave into going back. His last message was him pondering over the late Kurt Cobain's suicide note. And that's the last I will hear of him for a while.

She was working on an art project. Then she received the text. She broke down, she doesn't know what to do. She cried, her friends was trying to comfort her but to no avail. She didn't know why, he never even gave the reason why.

She texted me that same afternoon, asking me where I was. I just left school when I received the message. She told me what happened. She asked if she could maybe talk to me about it. I said sure, and so for a while, we've had random walks when she felt like it, ranting about him, about what he did, about how it should've been.

From then on, she came to me for walks like that when she could rant. But eventually, the ranting stopped and we became close friends. Since this was also my depressed era, she learned stuff about me and became kind of like my big sister, someone I could go to for advice and whatnot, but she also came to me. And so I have met a new best friend of mine, who have been a most crucial part of why I am still here today.

---END FLASHBACK---


I guess I got the Loki of the sectioning gods to place me in my 4th year section. I was classmates with my former best friend, the-I-have-not-been-talking-to-you-so-it's-kinda-awkward-especially-since-I'm-dating-your-ex. And awkward things were between us. As much as we both want to try and fix what we have left, apparently the whole section knows of the affair and keep on 'pitting' us against each other.

It was the annual retreat for the seniors, and also the palanca reading time. I was surprised to see one from him, And it confirmed any doubt I had, he also was like me, wanting to build back our relationship and become at least good friends again. And I was a bit regretful that I opted not to give him a palanca. So I sent him an e-palanca instead, a long one for that matter. But as we all know him, he's still pretty much him, and answered with a one liner not related to the letter in any way. I guess he still has some "him" in himself, there's still the part of him that I became best friends with two years ago. The part which I want to bring out yet again.

Admittedly, losing a best friend isn't the best feeling there is. Especially someone like him. He was one of the rare few actual best friends I have. And he's one hell of a friend to have.

But now, our deep and meaningful conversations have been reduced to simple waves and greetings across the halls. You've probably moved on with your other friends, other friends more close to your heart. But well, I guess it won't hurt to say that I miss having you as a best friend. Does it really have to be like this?


*End sentimental mode*

Wheeee~~ Potato :D

Whee~

Whee~*

Finally got to talk to her decently again. It's been a while since we had a decent talk, one that didn't involve me just leaving random messages in her e-mail and wait for her to reply.

Talked about random stuff (like always), and yeah, and other stuff never to be mentioned here (ha, I'll leave that to your discretion). And well, it somehow feels like the first time talking to her again. The Laws of Diminishing Marginal Utility may have affected me to not feel the jittery sensations when talking to her in the period where I basically have access to seeing and talking to her almost anytime. And changing such constant have helped in relieving such diminishing utility.

It may be true what they say, being with someone long enough can cause you to eventually lack that much interest in them, not to say that I'm lacking interest in her (I'm still a whole lot interested ;)). So yeah.

On the other hand, UP-CRS is being a bitch not letting me pre-enlist, even though they specifically said that the date for the pre-enlistment is today. They probably should've included the specific time too.

Woot, down to one Mystic Rook, a Mystic Queen, a Mystic King and almost all of the Technics to finish my two-pronged tower run. <-- Mousehunt reference. Great passive game, by the way. If you're the kind who likes to do something simple in between doing random stuff, this is a great game. Well, even for those active players who likes to itch themselves with button pressing and such might get a liking into this game. Might do a review (or something of the sort) sometime in the near (or not-so-near) future.

This bad?

Great. It's only been 5 days and I'm already experiencing such. Come on, it's not like she'll be gone forever, right? It'll be for just another week and a half, you can manage that. You'll get to see her again. And come on, you should really be preparing now, big day coming up soon.

But I just can't help but miss her.

April 12, 13:20H. The time of her scheduled flight back home. I must say that she's really excited to go back home to her family. And well, I'm pretty excited for her too. But I just can't help feeling a tad bit depressed that I wouldn't be seeing her for a few weeks, and maybe only get to talk to her for limited times since she's going to probably want to spend time with her family.

And right now, I'm feeling just kinda sad. Alone. Sure, I get to talk to her every now and then, but when I don't it feels pretty weird, like I should really be doing something that I'm not. I guess you could say that it's already part of my daily activities, to talk to her for extended periods of time, and to a certain extent, see her around at least once a day.

So yeah. Now I'm just leaving random messages every now and then, hoping she'd be able to talk.

Great, now I'm ranting, nyahaha. Rant post shall be deleted soon :P

Whee~

"Screw destiny."

This would some day be useful..

DXR32-X44M7-CYTCX-P6H6P-97CPG